WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WHEN YOUR KIDS DO NOT LISTEN?
By: Phuong Nguyen
I am sure you have been in a situation when your kids do not want to listen to you when you give them some advice. You want the best things for them in life. But why do they not want to accept your advice and start following your instructions? The truth is that no one can change anyone’s minds, behaviors, or thoughts. However, patience and love will make some significant improvements.
Teenage Years
At the ages of 12 to 19, kids fall into the stage of developing their minds, transforming them from little ones to future adults. At these ages, they will struggle with lots of issues. The first issue comes from peer pressure. They tend to care more about how they present themselves and how other people, especially other same-aged friends, think about them. They want more attention and recognition. This leads to them striving to gain independence and freedom from their families/guardians. They care about what others think of them but at the same time do not want to hear advice from their loved ones. It is not something silly. Almost everyone has to go through this stage of life. Besides external factors, teenagers deal with changes in physical appearance as they experience some weight gain, weight loss, or acne, which make them a bit more insecure. Parents might have a hard time communicating with their kids if they only see their kids’ behaviors at face value and do not get to know what causes the attitude changes.
Setting Examples
At the same time, parents face lots of issues at home and work, and they tend not to have time to talk to their kids. The lack of communication leads to a lack of information, lack of knowledge, and lack of trust. Kids in their teens are usually seeking advice and help outside of their own homes if they sense that their parents might judge or refuse to listen to them. Furthermore, kids tend to look at how their parents act and determine whether or not to listen. A lot of times, parents do not do what they preach, which makes it hard for them to become good examples for their children. By becoming good examples, it does not mean parents have to be perfect or flawless. We are all imperfect, and we make mistakes frequently; however, we can always strive to be better every day. When kids make mistakes, parents can explain to their kids why they should not do those things. Maybe telling them stories about their mistakes when they were kids might help, too.
According to the Bible
According to the Bible, in the book of Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 to 4: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord”. What these verses mean to teach is that parents and kids should communicate and solve issues with the root of love and empathy. Children should honor their parents as their parents have raised them and given the best possible things for them. And for parents, kids also struggle with a lot of issues growing up, so treat them with sympathy and understanding!
Other Ways to Connect
We hope you found this article on what to do when your kids don’t listen very informative.
Do you have any thoughts? Please connect with us on Facebook and Instagram and let us know!
If you would like to learn more about upcoming events, sign up to receive our quarterly newsletter here.
Check out some of our other blog posts here.